Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
