you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
