we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
