so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
