He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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