why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
