Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.