I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.