dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.