in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Some milfs here doing some blow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it