nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.