We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
