dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize