I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
