It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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