help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
