a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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