I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.