im drinking this country out of the recession.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
