its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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