i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize