I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Shame - the story of my life.
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