That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
