Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
