i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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