All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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