I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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