Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
