wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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