allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
