Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize