Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
