why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
