I checked into jail on foursquare
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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