I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.