i was born a porn star she said
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
