Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.

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  (212): It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you. http://tfl.nu/rmlk
  Replies (23) Good night (596) Bad night (1586)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (806) Bad night (3508)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

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  (917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much http://tfl.nu/cn35
  Replies (30) Good night (1719) Bad night (5207)
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  (+44): View more from England

  mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.

  (+44): View more from England

  "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"

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  (+44): mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes. (+44): "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'" http://tfl.nu/aeg7
  Replies (32) Good night (4494) Bad night (1456)
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  (650): View more from California

  I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

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  (650): I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets http://tfl.nu/bg6i
  Replies (28) Good night (4726) Bad night (2167)
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  (845): View more from New York

  he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

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  (845): he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/a138
  Replies (60) Good night (2298) Bad night (7648)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
  Replies (22) Good night (7445) Bad night (1356)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

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  (520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training. http://tfl.nu/cz3b
  Replies (15) Good night (4544) Bad night (1087)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

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  (727): I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish http://tfl.nu/fk29
  Replies (12) Good night (2925) Bad night (738)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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  (972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv
  Replies (6) Good night (2402) Bad night (625)
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  (925): View more from California

  Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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  (925): Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night? (1-925): Come on man nobody wants to admit that http://tfl.nu/8oz0
  Replies (7) Good night (3059) Bad night (808)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4620) Bad night (862)
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  (921): View more from

  Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!

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  (921): Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK! http://tfl.nu/zhve
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (829)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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  (443): Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ http://tfl.nu/d2b1
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (378)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices

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  (260): I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices http://tfl.nu/lkn8
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (432)

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