It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did