he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage