Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  How crunk are you?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins

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  (210): How crunk are you? (713): I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins http://tfl.nu/q3sf
  Replies (3) Good night (1943) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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  (703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f
  Replies (55) Good night (1320) Bad night (16889)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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  (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp
  Replies (60) Good night (938) Bad night (16130)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

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  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10307) Bad night (2946)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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  (715): i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead. http://tfl.nu/xiio
  Replies (14) Good night (2043) Bad night (7559)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?

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  (306): Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better? http://tfl.nu/6en9
  Replies (3) Good night (3037) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.

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  (765): He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame. http://tfl.nu/5bwq
  Replies (5) Good night (3330) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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  (616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2178) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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  (706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48
  Replies (11) Good night (2328) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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  (571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g
  Replies (13) Good night (1463) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.

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  (215): You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized. http://tfl.nu/g02p
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song

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  (513): I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song http://tfl.nu/4m2s
  Replies (9) Good night (344) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting

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  (707): Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting http://tfl.nu/qvl5
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.

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  (940): I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/nfq7
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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  (631): A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway. http://tfl.nu/tmel
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (207)

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