Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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