Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
