Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
