You can't motorboat a personality
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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