I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
