Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize