My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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