Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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