you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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