so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
