found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
