remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
