is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
