doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
