I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I cockslap morals
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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