He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
