I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
