okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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