So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize