How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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