I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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