My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
