My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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