That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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