Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
