im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
