Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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