I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize