There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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