that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
