I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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